Narrative Lead:
"The advice made her head spin: Have the lump removed. No, let them take the whole breast. Chemo? Radiation? Everyone seemed to have an opinion."
-cnn.com (full article at "http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/02/19/cancer.coaches.ap/index.html")
Nut Graf:
"Many advocacy groups and hospitals are using "professional" coaches -- trained volunteers or paid workers who can objectively help new patients navigate the maze of information and options."
At first I had a problem with the fact that the nut graf was six blocks into the article, but then I scrolled down and realized that this article is over 1,000 words long. I can't imagine a writer attempting to use any other type of a lead than a narrative for an article of this magnitude. Actually, this type of lead is completely necessary, because the article is practically a story about a woman named Bernie Brann(the "her" in the lead), who utilized the services of a "coach" while battling cancer.
This article could have been extremely shorter if the writer had taken a different, more "newsy" approach, but the article would lose the factor of personality that made it so interesting. Sure, I could read a short, straight-forward article about people who choach cancer patients through their process, but I would much rather read about an actual cancer patient who is going through the struggle and can tell about the ups and downs of having one of these coaches, which would be much more effective for other patients. And from my perspective, as someone who doesn't suffer from cancer, how else can I begin to understand or relate to how difficult it is? That's why I feel that the narrative approach the writer took was the perfect way to go about the subject matter he/she was writing about.
It's long, but if you have time you should read the whole article. It's pretty good.
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1 comment:
Unfortunately, the page link to the article no longer works. But this is a great find and your critique is right on target. I, too, would be really wary of a nut graf so far into the story, but perhaps it works if the article was as long as you pointed out. Great critique.
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